Is that a different light that lighten your face,

Is it another moon that shines in your eyes?

Or just my heart lost the light of love, so nothing is same?!

Look! All the colors are gone! It is so clear!

You are just black and white, just the bones and skin that means nothing to me!

Same7ni ya rabb el kareem, color my life with the light of Your Love,

I let the other take what belongs only to You,

You are the Lord of my heart, Lord of my soul,

You are my shelter; I run to You and knock in Your door, I am meskeena, beggar, in need of Your Mercy.

You are all my Hope.

O my Lord,

the stars are shining and the eyes of men are closed,

and kings have shut their doors,

and every lover is alone with his beloved,

and here I am alone with Thee.

Let me hide in You
From everything that distracts me from You,
From everything that comes in my way
When I want to run to You.

O Lord,
Whatever share of this world
You could give to me,
Give it to Your enemies;
Whatever share of the next world
You want to give to me,
Give it to Your friends.
You are enough for me.

***Poems by Rabi’a Al Adawiyya

Whats the big deal about hijab? Who wants to wear it, let them wear it. Who doesnt want, be free not to.

I want to cover my hair. I want to go on the street with it. I want to work with it. Go to the market with it. Go to my daughter’s school with it. Do what ever I want to do. Live with it.

Sometimes white, sometimes black, maybe pink or yellow, depends on my mood. But I love it, no matter what shape or color. Wearing it, I am saying I am slave of Allah only, my heart and brain is what is counts & important. Why people are saying I am oppressed? Why they are saying I am forced to wear it? Why they think they have to liberate me from it? Yo!, people I LOVE MY HIJAB!!!

Yes, life is more difficult with it. What ever I do, it has to be at least 100000 times better than others did. I know that. Its so clear. People are showing me that so clear, every day. It sucks, I know. But its my choice. And I know why and for whom I am doing it. You can do it only for Him, coz His love is only worth of doing it.

But why people are making such a big deal of it, wallahi?? Why hijab ban in France, in Turkey, Italy and all other countries? I just dont get it. This piece of cloth bothering them so much?? And they are keep saying these hijab bans are for my own good?? Alright, I really JUST DONT GET IT! Will someone please explain to me?

I heard someone said once, that zikr (dhikr-remembering Allah with your heart and tongue) for people is like the water for fish.. Means - its life accually…for your heart, for the health of your mind, for your ability to make good deeds, for all whats good in you..

Well..I felt like real looser when I remembered these words…Accually when I am thinking of the days of Ramadhan which are gone I feel like a looser..yarab…is my heart like this coz I am not making enough zikr? Is my heart like this coz I am too busy with the dunya stuff (which are my home, my children and my job, means I have to be concern about it!!) ? I just cant find myself in all this. I am kinda loosing my self in it. But really. I am becoming really worried. Ya rabb, ya Allah , ya Al Wadood, are Your doors closed for me, this slave who loves You so much, but feel like munafiq coz not showing You that love??

If You dont allow me to be Your servant, I am lost.

Feeling away from You is something that comes to me from time to time…Without some particular reason, not in some particular time…just like that - it comes. And takes me away from You. I am sure I do something to make the job for shaitan easier. I am sure I am the one who makes the step back. But it sucks. Big time.

I hate being away from You. I miss You so much. I miss talking to You, I miss the tranquilty You give me after I cry in front of You…I miss Your care in small things You give me every day. I miss You so much. Wallahi yarab, I miss You so much. Don’t leave me without You.

My joy –

My Hunger –

My Shelter –

My Friend –

My Food for the journey –

My journey’s End –

You are my breath,

My hope,

My companion,

My craving,

My abundant wealth.

Without You — my Life, my Love –

I would never have wandered across these endless countries.

You have poured out so much grace for me,

Done me so many favors, given me so many gifts –

I look everywhere for Your love –

Then suddenly I am filled with it.

O Captain of my Heart

Radiant Eye of Yearning in my breast,

I will never be free from You

As long as I live.

Be satisfied with me, Love,

And I am satisfied.

Rabi’a al Basri

Living my life in the shelter of Islam, I have learned many things. I wouldn’t give it up for anything in this world. For some of them it took years to see it, many tears and nights without sleep to understand it. But I appreciate them all. Here are some of them :

* Even if you feel like totally alone in this world, you are not. The One who wishes you the best will take care of you and will sent you His help in moments when you don’t even expect it. You will find the doors of hope and forgiveness always opened.

*You will see that people do not forgive so easily. It can take you ages to correct your wrong doings to someone and to see that person forgive and forget. With Allah is not like that. One do3a that will come sincerely from your heart is enough. And not just that. Muhammad saws told us that Allah is welcoming every repentance from us, and He likes it more than a man likes to find his lost camel in the desert, which carries all his food and water. SubhanAllah…

*People don’t like if you ask something from them every now and then. Wallahi they will make you feel like the worst person in this world. They will think that you are not capable for this life and that you should start to learn how to live it. With Allah is not like that. He likes if we ask Him for anything we need, no matter huge or small. One more thing: He doesn’t ask from us to make an appointment so we can tell Him our needs and problems. No. His doors are always opened, day or night, you can talk for hours if you like, He will never be busy for you. Always there for anything you need. And plus: He will be angry if you don’t ask from Him. :)

*You can always, but ALWAYS rely on Him. He will never let you down. Ever.

*You will notice that the love you feel for Him is making you love all around you, it is making you able to forgive and to live in peace with others. Plus: Same love for Him is making other people loves you :)

*It is said that who makes his only worry how to gain Allah ’s pleasure, Allah will take care of all others worries of this person. Simple. Beautiful.

It was raining today. Alhamdulillah. I feel so peaceful now. Alhamdulillah.

Really in hard moments a person can see how far away she/he is from Allah . When I received a phone call few days ago and my sister told me that my mom is very sick, I thought I will die.

Some emptiness fulfilled me and I felt like I am all alone in this world. Totally. I still feel like that.

I wasn’t thinking about her or how hard this is for her, I wasn’t thinking that trough my behaviour she has to see how strong she has to be, how believer always has to TRUST Allah , how Allah is the best Doctor, that shefa’ is in His hands…All I knew is that I can lose my mom. Thats all.

I ask You ya Rabbi to give shefa’ and eeman to my mom. She would give her life for me. She wasn’t sleeping because of me, my sadness is her sadness, my happiness is her happiness. She is the best under the sky for me, she is the best among those who walk in this Earth, for me. I wish I bring the stars to her, I wish I can do anything now to make her feel better. Accept my dooa ya Rahman, ya Wadood, ya Haleem, ya Hafeez, ya Lateef, ya Mujeeb el dooa, ya Allah rabbi accept my dooa.

p.s. sorry to all of you who will read if this is too confusing, just my mind is all messed up right now. Dooa needed so much, jazakumullah khair