It was raining today. Alhamdulillah. I feel so peaceful now. Alhamdulillah.
Really in hard moments a person can see how far away she/he is from Allah 
. When I received a phone call few days ago and my sister told me that my mom is very sick, I thought I will die.
Some emptiness fulfilled me and I felt like I am all alone in this world. Totally. I still feel like that.
I wasn’t thinking about her or how hard this is for her, I wasn’t thinking that trough my behaviour she has to see how strong she has to be, how believer always has to TRUST Allah , how Allah is the best Doctor, that shefa’ is in His hands…All I knew is that I can lose my mom. Thats all.
I ask You ya Rabbi to give shefa’ and eeman to my mom. She would give her life for me. She wasn’t sleeping because of me, my sadness is her sadness, my happiness is her happiness. She is the best under the sky for me, she is the best among those who walk in this Earth, for me. I wish I bring the stars to her, I wish I can do anything now to make her feel better. Accept my dooa ya Rahman, ya Wadood, ya Haleem, ya Hafeez, ya Lateef, ya Mujeeb el dooa, ya Allah rabbi accept my dooa.
p.s. sorry to all of you who will read if this is too confusing, just my mind is all messed up right now. Dooa needed so much, jazakumullah khair