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Archive for April 26th, 2007

Can my heart become a stone?

26 Apr 2007

I have a feeling that these days I have eyes only for bad things :( And it makes me worried, a lot, coz I was always the person who sees all the best in people and things around me. But when I catched my self yesterday with feeling of deep worry, thinking how, for God’s sake, my children, my innocent, pure children ( and all other kids) will survive in this kind of world, I am afraid now that I am becoming a pessimist. And that’s not good. At all.
The thing I am worried at most is that my heart, by living in this kind of environment, will become hard as a stone and totally blind, without possibility to feel all those beautiful things around me, which were making me so happy and joyful person. I can remember how deep my feelings were when I was started to practice Islam. Yarab…I felt the tree next to my balcony as a proud slave of Allah and this is why I was looking at it as someone so close to me:))Same was for the sky, stars, flowers, birds, just all things which Allah swt created for us, to make our residence here more pleasant.
Now, I am facing with people who knows about this beautiful deen more than me, who seems to be practicing and saying Allah ’s name 5 times in every sentence, but…they are making my heart a stone. Why? Because they don’t see Islam as a way of life, it didn’t fulfill all cells of their bodies, it didn’t lightened their souls so the light can not come out, to bring the good for others. They are cold,cruel, from Islam they see only hard rules, and if they have beard and everybody sees them praying, they take the right to change the rules if they are not happy with it. This makes you stone. Because they don’t see that tree or even thinking about it. They don’t feel the world around them. Except what they will benefit from. And you are not able to change it, plus you are forced somehow to live surrounded by their grinned faces, without the smile or noor in it.

Ya Allah make the Qur’an the noor of my heart, the spring of my soul and eraser of all my worries. Ameen yarab.

  

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